What I Discovered When My Mind and Physique Shut Down

“Virtually every little thing will work once more should you unplug it for a couple of minutes, together with you.” ~Anne Lamott

I used to imagine that success meant at all times being obtainable. At all times saying sure. At all times responding instantly to emails, Slack pings, texts, no matter was thrown my means. As a result of if I finished—even for a second—I would fall behind. And if I wasn’t working more durable than everybody else, was I even working arduous sufficient?

For years, that mindset labored. Or so I believed. Each win, each promotion, each new milestone felt like including gas to the fireplace. The extra I ‘succeeded’ by society’s requirements—the title, the profession, the monetary stability—the extra I pushed myself to do extra, to be extra.

My perfectionism kicked in, too. I didn’t simply need to succeed; I needed to be excellent at every little thing—profession, management, motherhood, marriage, friendships. And I by no means eliminated something from my plate—I simply saved stacking it larger.

I climbed the company ladder, grew to become the primary feminine VP in a 300-person advertising and marketing org at a Fortune 500 firm, and checked each success field that ought to have made me really feel completed. However as an alternative of feeling fulfilled, I felt… empty. Exhausted. Like I used to be operating on fumes however too scared to cease.

After which sooner or later, my physique gave me no selection however to cease. It wasn’t a sluggish fade or a warning signal I may ignore—it was like somebody pulled the plug. I went from a high-functioning overachiever to somebody who couldn’t even type a sentence with out feeling mentally drained.

Not simply stress. Not simply exhaustion. A full-body, full-brain shutdown. Emails didn’t make sense. Conversations felt like static. I couldn’t course of ideas.

My mind hit the off change, and I didn’t know the best way to flip it again on. I sat at my desk, observing my display, and for the primary time in my life, I bodily couldn’t push via.

That second scared me greater than something.

5 years earlier than my full breakdown, I had already been on a collision course. In that brief span of time, I grew to become a mom, bought promoted to director, took on extra groups and duties, misplaced my sister and grandmother, and moved into a brand new home—which promptly caught hearth.

However I nonetheless saved pushing, nonetheless saved performing, as a result of slowing down wasn’t an choice. Till my physique made it one.

I keep in mind sitting in my automobile after work, gripping the steering wheel, staring blankly forward. I had nothing left.

It wasn’t simply exhaustion; it was one thing deeper, one thing that made me really feel like I had misplaced management over my very own thoughts and physique. I had constructed my total identification on being productive, on being the go-to individual, the one who at all times delivered.

However now I had nothing left to present. And I had no concept the best way to repair it.

What I Discovered from My Breaking Level

However how did I get to that time?

How did I am going from thriving on the hustle to utterly shutting down?

Trying again, the indicators had been all there—I simply ignored them.

The late nights, the skipped meals, the creeping exhaustion I saved dismissing as ‘simply a part of the job.’ My physique had been warning me for years, and I didn’t pay attention. Till I had no selection.

That breaking level pressured me to ask myself one thing I had spent my entire life avoiding:

What am I chasing, and at what value?

Right here’s what lastly made me notice I couldn’t hold going like this (and what I want I had found out earlier than I hit all-time low):

1. Relaxation isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.

For the longest time, I believed sleeping extra would repair every little thing. I watched a MasterClass with Dr. Matt Walker (a sleep professional) and discovered all about chronotypes—morning larks vs. evening owls. I knew I used to be a morning lark, so I figured, Nice, I’ll simply get to mattress earlier, and that ought to do it!

Besides, it didn’t.

I’d lie there at evening, my physique nonetheless, however my mind operating marathons.

• Did I give my kiddo his treatment?
• Did somebody feed the canine?
• Is my group member feeling higher after being out sick?
• Crap, I forgot to maneuver the laundry. Now I’ve two decisions: depart it and cope with the stink tomorrow, or drag myself off the bed to repair it.

That’s after I realized that relaxation isn’t nearly sleep. It’s about giving your thoughts and physique an actual reset.

I discovered that after I frolicked in my backyard, I had extra persistence with others.

I picked up crocheting for the primary time in twenty-five years, making beanies like my life relied on it. They had been lovable—and it introduced me a peace I hadn’t felt in years.

I began enjoying board video games with my youngsters, laughing across the desk as an alternative of dashing them to mattress simply so I may soar again on-line and “get forward.”

For years, I handled parenting like a duty (which, to be honest, it’s), however I by no means simply let time be. Every thing had been a activity to finish, a schedule to comply with. However slowing down, being current, laughing with my household—THAT felt like true relaxation.

Relaxation isn’t nearly stopping. It’s about resetting in a means that truly fuels you.

2. Ambition and steadiness can co-exist.

Let’s be actual—I’m nonetheless a piece in progress on the subject of boundaries. However one of many largest shifts I made was realizing that every little thing in life is a season.

I used to overthink each choice. Saying no felt heavy, like I used to be closing a door ceaselessly. However as soon as I began pondering in seasons, every little thing modified.

• As an alternative of “no,” I began saying “not proper now.” This made boundaries really feel lighter and simpler to stay to.
• I bought clear on my non-negotiables. If one thing stuffed my cup, it bought precedence time. If one thing drained me? It was time to let it go.

For years, I used to be the sort of chief who stated issues like “I assist your choice” when somebody wanted day off—however the undertone was at all times “however we actually want you right here.” The unstated strain to overwork was actual.

Now, I construct my life round individuals who encourage me to put money into myself—not simply assist it, however push me to do it. And that makes all of the distinction.

3. If stopping feels scary, that’s an indication it is advisable cease.

I used to be terrified to decelerate. I had constructed my total status on:

✔ At all times being obtainable (Praised!)
✔ At all times performing on the high (Praised!)
✔ Dwelling each side of hustle tradition (Praised!).

It was my identification. So, if I finished… who even was I?

What if I had labored my butt off for nothing?
What if individuals stopped seeing me as “profitable”—would they assume I used to be a failure?

I’m nonetheless on this transition, and truthfully, it’s nonetheless scary. However leaning into the unknown is a part of redefining success. That’s what makes it really feel much less terrifying.

I used to imagine success = standing, energy, cash.
Now, I see success as one thing greater—well being, pleasure, presence.

And whereas I received’t faux it’s straightforward, I can let you know this: it’s price it.

What This Means for You

For those who’re studying this, questioning why—regardless of all of your effort—you continue to really feel exhausted, caught, or empty… I get it. I’ve sat in that very same place, operating on fumes, satisfied that pushing more durable was the reply. But it surely’s not. It by no means was.

You don’t have to interrupt earlier than you begin making modifications. Small shifts—pausing, setting boundaries, rethinking what success truly means—can prevent from ever reaching that breaking level.

Take the break now. Reclaim your power now. Redefine success now. As a result of the life you need isn’t ready in your subsequent achievement—it’s ready on you to cease operating lengthy sufficient to really stay it.

About Kris Licata

Kris Licata is a former company chief who is aware of firsthand how hustle tradition disguises itself as ambition. Now, she helps high-achievers break away from burnout and redefine success on their very own phrases. Because the founding father of Break & Bloom, she creates experiences that assist overachievers reset via creativity, connection, and humor—as a result of success ought to gas you, not drain you. Observe her journey and get actual, relatable insights at krislicata.com.